This month, PHS Founder and Managing Editor Trish Wylie, talks about the importance of having yums in your life and why you should never let anyone yuck on them. Not sure what she's talking about? Then, read on...
Never let somebody yuck on your yum.
A yum is something that brings you happiness or joy or simply puts a smile on your face. It can be anything from propping your feet up after a long day at work to a scoop of your favorite ice-cream when the sun is shining. It could be a book you're unable to put down until you turn the last page, or the sense of freedom you get when you finally break free from someone or something that has been holding you back. Your yum can be something small or something huge. But you should never have to justify how good it makes you feel.
For the most part, I think I'm easily pleased. Give me peace and quiet, time to write, my four-legged family fed and tucked up safe and I'm content. Material things don't hold any great interest for me. A big house, a fancy car, designer clothes... You can keep them. Time to take a nap in the middle of the day, create something pretty, spend a few hours leaning on a fence watching ponies graze or cats chase butterflies or being amazed and delighted by the way my gorgeous great nieces view the world; those things are much more valuable to me.
Yet somehow, even at what we shall refer to as 'a more mature age', I seem to be surrounded by people who feel the need to question my choices, demand an unequal amount of my attention, manage to make me feel guilty for spending time doing the things I enjoy and push me to do things they consider more 'normal' and 'practical'. Most of them mean well. I know they do. They think they have my best interests at heart. But their yum isn't my yum and vice-versa. And I don't yuck on their yum.
Trouble is, when someone yucks on your yum, regardless of whether it's done with the best intentions, they are trying to take something from you. They don't seem to get that what makes you happy, is part of what makes you, YOU. And if the people closest to you can't see that or appreciate it or respect it or be supportive or do any of the other things which would indicate they WANT you to be happy, then maybe they need to kindly fuck off and try yucking on someone else's yum.
I don't think we make that statement out loud anywhere near enough. I know, I don't. And I swear A LOT! But, seriously, don't we deserve more yum in a world so full of yuck?
In the last few days, yet again, I've been forced to cut another negative influence out of my life. It shouldn't have come to that drastic point any more than it should the last time it happened. But it was necessary on both occassions. You see, sometimes a person yucking on your yum can indicate bigger problems headed your way. Eventually you may discover that person places their needs above yours, rarely bothers to ask how you are while they regale you with news of everything that's happened to them, view their goals as more important and urgent than anything you might need to do and have no respect for your boundaries. And that's not a healthy relationship to be in.
I've talked on numerous occassions about reclaiming my life and every time I spoke about it, truly believed I was. But reclaiming your life isn't something that happens overnight. Not when you've been giving up your yums, one yum at a time, over several years, because people yucked on them so often. And it's not simply a case of cutting all the negatives out of your life, either. Though, that certainly helps. No, now I can see that reclaiming your life and all those previously-surrendered yums, is an ongoing process. Just like a fictional character's journey is told one word at a time and one sentence at a time and one paragraph and one page and one chapter at a time, reclaiming your life and striving to achieve your dreams starts with a single step. Then you take another one and another one....
As an example of how it can all work out for the best, after cutting that tie a few days ago, though it meant taking a step back into poorer living conditions, yesterday I got to sit outside in the sunshine and write. All day. Uninterrupted. In a stress-free environment.
And that, my friends, was YUM.
So, please. Don't let anyone yuck on your yum. You deserve those yums. You've EARNED them. And you are WORTH IT.
To find out more about Trish and her writing, you can visit her website or follow her on Facebook or Twitter.
What's your yum? Has anyone ever tried to yuck on it? Are you reclaiming your life or striving for a personal goal or reaching for a dream? Tell us in the comments or join the discussion on this subject on our Social Media using the hashtag #DontYuckOnMyYum